citrusjava: (Default)
[personal profile] citrusjava
Title: Took my chances on a big jet place
Pairing: >Dean & Sam
Words: 850
Warnings: recreational drug and alcohol use, brief mention of sex work
Spoilers: small spoiler for 11x19

Summary:
It was probably oregano anyway

Dean feels around the cooler for his last beer. It's warm and damp, but it's not like he's wearing a top hat either. Tried to get all the dust and mud off his clothes before touching Baby, but even stripped half naked he's dragging some forest onto her leather. He pats the seat, swipes the filth away with a gentle thumb. Gonna give her a nice tuneup when they're outta there, he promises her, himself.

Five days he hasn't seen a living soul, or a dead one for that matter, trail's cold, and he's getting twitchy in all that nothin. Dad's in Colorado, looking into reports of localizes hurricanes, coming out of nowhere, going nowhere, plenty of eyewitnesses but no blip on the meteorological radar. Dean hasn't heard from him since he left. Tells himself it's the reception in the forest, but he knows it's crystal.

He thumbs the phone, good five bars of reception.

Drinks his beer.

He could step right out of the world, no blip. He might not even notice if he did.


Calls information, asks for the number of one Robert Singer. Listens to his voice, unsure for a moment, that he still knows how to talk with anyone. There is a lot of empty in the forest.


Information hangs up. Shoulda kept the number of the girl with the cowboy boots from the bar last year. Or the chat line card someone stuck on his windshield wiper.

He's asleep by the time his phone rings. The tinny cellphone notes of Brown Eyed Girl. Hasn't played it in almost two years, and Dean's heart is beating hard before he's awake, before he registers the sound.

"Sammy? You ok?"

"Dean?" The voice sounds small and distant.

There's some rustling, then Sam swallows.

"What's going on?"

"Dean, did you ever- The parties you went to, did you never- The girls you-"

Dean's mind is racing. Halloween haunted house come to life? College succubus? Pregnant college succubus?"

"Sam, spit it out!"

Sam's voice goes meeker. "Did you ever try-"

Orgies? A girl's underwear on?

"Did you ever try smoking?"

Dean sputters. "Sammy!"

"Like - weed?"

"You smoke now?" California takes Dean's geek baby brother, it should have the decency to give him back the way it got him.

"Dean" Sam's voice is part way between annoyed and pleading. "I don't know if - if it feels right".

"What's it feel like?"

"I just - I - I - wanna puke and throw up, and" Sam's breathing gets sharp, and Dean can't hear if it's fear or tears. Dean knows shit about getting high, but he knows his brother, and he knows his Mick Jagger Mars Bar lore.

"Listen, Sammy, you got anything with sugar on you?"

"No, but it's fine, Dean, I'm fine".

"the hell you are. Listen, Sammy" Dean does Dad voice, like there's no doubt in the world. "You're stoned, you're paranoid, that's all. You don't gotta fight it, you're golden. All you gotta do is ride this out. Will be over in an hour".

Sam swallows. "What if it was - you know, what if there was something in it?"

Dean's thinking about the same lines, but that's not comin out of his mouth. "Dude, you're not in Em City, you're in college, it was probably overpriced oregano. You jonesing for pizza?"

Sam snorts, but he's still breathing wrong. "Dean, there was - in the paper - about someone like you, missing and I know it wasn't you because - but his picture looked a little - and I started thinking what if you or Dad - and I - you are missing and I - this guy Don had a joint and I - I just didn't want to think about it"

"Woah, woah, Sammy" Dean says, quiet. "Didn't go missing". I didn't go missing. "'m right here, you hear me?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know" Sam tries to sound grown up, and only misses by a few years. Like Dean's voice sounded in his ears when that spirit had Dean by the throat, and Dad was bleeding out - grown up and messed up and scared. "Just you're not here, and I just, I didn't want - if something wasn't gonna be ok with you - or - me - I didn't want to never - just wanted to I wanted to-"

"'s alright"

Sam's breathing a bit better now, and Dean's chest unclenches. "So what, you're embracing the ways of the locals? Flowers in your hair?"

Dean can hear the weak smile in Sam's voice. "You'd love it. They put broccoli on their pizza".

Dean makes the expected a disgusted voice, like it's a normal conversation, like they still know how to talk with each other proper.

"It's better than fried spam for breakfast".

"It's good enough for Commander Sheers, it's good enough for me".

"Commander Sheers never ate fried spam".

"You're high".

Sam laughs.

Dean tries for more.

"Little Sammy, a space cowboy, riding shotgun on the Great Red Shark!"

"You're such an ass" Sam's voice is warm, and he sounds ok, sounds regular.

"Rock on gold dust woman! Don’t Step on the Grass, Sam"

"Dean" Sam asks, like there's too much space in his world too, too many miles of room.

"Yeah, Sammy?"

"Stay on the phone with me till the hour's over?"

"Sure, kid".

Date: 2016-04-30 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elwarre.livejournal.com
omg, I love this so much. So many emotions so sparsely worded. It's perfect Dean POV. And this line - He could step right out of the world, no blip. He might not even notice if he did. - so perfectly heartbreaking

Date: 2016-05-18 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com

This is such a meaningful wonderful comment - THANK YOU

Date: 2016-04-30 04:47 pm (UTC)
fufaraw: (J2)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
This is achy-good. Perfect characer voices. Nice!

Date: 2016-05-18 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com


aw, thank you so so much! I am so pleased you enjoyed the character voices! YESSSSSS! Thank you so so much for this!!!1

Date: 2016-04-30 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
Perfect! I loved how you fleshed out this moment from their past and made it feel real; the setting, Dean's voice, the backstory with Sam seeing a article and worrying about his brother, the easy flow of their conversation, and the feeling that there's some emotions and pain that they don't talk about. Hurty and poignant, but in the best kind of way.

Thank you for sharing :)

Date: 2016-05-18 08:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
Thank you! This is such a generous, kind comment! Thnk you so so much for elaborating and just for being so so sweet towrds me, b!

Date: 2016-05-01 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balder12.livejournal.com
Aww, I love Dean talking Sam through a difficult moment! The mixture of intimacy and awkwardness rings true to that moment in their relationship.

Date: 2016-05-18 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
Thank you so so much, dear! S o glad it rand right for you!!!1!!!!

Date: 2016-05-01 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twnchesterangel.livejournal.com
Omigosh! He took a joint from a guy named Don! LOLOL This was awesome. And it hurt too. What an enjoyable read. Thank you for this. *hugs*

Date: 2016-05-18 08:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
Ahh! You're so awesome for noticing that yay! :D

Thank you so so much, this means so much for me, relly!

Thank you! *hugs back! - if you want hug right now! -*

Date: 2016-05-02 07:05 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (free fall)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
This is the most wonderful little thing--and I agree with [livejournal.com profile] elwarre about the line about blipping out without anyone noticing (including himself). The way that moment shifts into the phone call with Sam, and its quiet affirmation that there are people who would, indeed, notice, is so gorgeous. The feeling that comes to mind is, yet again, EMOTIONAL RIMMING. (Do you remember that phrase? XD Because I'd definitely forgotten about it until reading this!) But you are just so, so, good at hitting those exact, poignant, ephemeral notes. askja;lkjfkj <333 Really lovely tag, bb.

Date: 2016-05-18 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
Sweethear, thank you so so so so much for this
Means really so so so much !

Emotional rimming - lollol!!
Well, tbh, this is a very very cool compliment to get, thnk you :D
First of all, one of my favorite things about early spn writing is that it included so much rimming,
also, the more i get comfortable in my ace identification the moe i have to give up my previous identities as - g lorious sex expert???? - so feel that being good at emotional rimming is just the perfect sort of compliment for someone who is no lnger about the sex! ;)




Seriously, though - - YOU ARE SO SO KIND-thank you!1

Date: 2016-05-18 10:40 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (free fall)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
Teach me your rimming ways! XD In all seriousness, I love that tenor so much, and you are the best at it. <3

Date: 2016-05-07 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bratfarrar.livejournal.com
A perfect fleshing-out of what's barely sketched by canon.

Date: 2016-05-18 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com



Thank you so, so much, for this comment!

Really means so much












Date: 2016-08-31 01:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supernutjapan.livejournal.com
Awww... <3

I loved this so much! Yay for using that little bit aboutthe weed and making it such a poignant story :')
Edited Date: 2016-08-31 01:30 am (UTC)

Date: 2016-10-09 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com





Thank you so so much for this amazing comment - you are lovely lovely lovely!!!!

Date: 2016-10-10 07:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supernutjapan.livejournal.com
You're very welcome <3

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