citrusjava: (Default)
[personal profile] citrusjava
there was something very triggery on lj -
so just - needed to go into "ball form"....





now -
my mom died last week - it both made worse and maybe less bad for her having beeen abusive - but also worse in o many ways.... and..... just that - yea

Date: 2016-08-05 03:07 pm (UTC)
kalliel: (free fall)
From: [personal profile] kalliel
Oh, bb. <3333333 So much love to you right now, for all the reasons. If you want a listener, or anything at all, I'm here for you.

Date: 2016-08-05 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
t hank you so so much, means a lot, bb

Date: 2016-08-05 04:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tabaqui.livejournal.com
I'm so very sorry. I hope you can find some comfort here on LJ amongst people you know.
*offers hugs*

Date: 2016-08-05 05:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
t hank you so so so much ....

Date: 2016-08-05 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] casey28.livejournal.com
I'm so sorry. Sending you comforting thoughts and love. <3

Date: 2016-08-05 05:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
thank you very very muh- you r omforting very appreiated

Date: 2016-08-05 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belleweather.livejournal.com
Oh no. No matter what the relationship, that's got to be a complicated bundle of suck. Be nice to yourself, and we'll be thinking of you as you sort through this.

Date: 2016-08-06 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
thank you so much, this is such a kin thoughtful reply

Date: 2016-08-06 07:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kat-lair.livejournal.com
Oh darling :((( I'm so sorry to hear about this. Even if a parental relationship is difficult/abusive/bad etc, the death will still be a hard thing to face. Perhaps even doubly so as there is a feeling of things left unresolved. *sits with you quietly and holds your wrist* Be kind to yourself. Be angry. Cry, shout, laugh, have fun, kick the walls. Whatever helps, all is allowed. Your grief and how you express it is yours. <3

Date: 2016-08-06 12:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
these are lovely things....

Probably the main feeling I remain with so far is guilt - with moments of horror, relief, hopelessness or sadness, isolation and fond memories, and guiltagain.... i try to do the 'taking caree of myself ' thing, watch silly tv, do uni work, and i try being around people at least a little....

anyway - thank you thank you o much !

Date: 2016-08-06 01:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] supernutjapan.livejournal.com
So sorry to hear about the tough time you have been having. I'm so sorry for your loss and all the feelings that you are struggling with there as well.
*hugs*

Date: 2016-08-06 02:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
Thank you very very much !

Date: 2016-08-08 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frelling-tralk.livejournal.com
I'm really sorry *hugs*

Date: 2016-08-09 09:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com
th ank you very much

Date: 2016-08-08 04:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madebyme-x.livejournal.com
I'm so very sorry to hear this. Sending you lots of support and thoughts.

Date: 2016-08-09 09:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com


thank s a lot lot - thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111





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