citrusjava: (Default)
Title: Biblically
Character(s): Sam
Words: 125
Warnings: allusions to past torture/rape/psychological abuse, self harm
Spoilers: 11x02
Notes: This is apparently what happens when I try to write just one thing about an episode

Summary: Unclean. In every sense of the word.



People are essentially good. Sam tries to save them, perfect circle of holy fire and they are pure as babies, and they are clean. People are good in nature.

Sam can't afford that sort of move on himself. Sam is unclean. Could never be Sir Galahad. Could never be purified, only by trial, by fire. Nothing ever gets wiped. He hears the voices saying stop, you don’t have to burn your fucking face off. That is how Sam knows not to listen. Demons lie. Angels know the truth and they’ll tell you. You don’t have to burn your face off, bunkbuddy. You’re perfect just the way you are, Sammy, you belong with me. Every time they did it. And Sam knows it to be true.


citrusjava: (Default)
What if Dean's not telling Sam (he perhaps could have convinced him to do things Dean's way, he often does, like in Sacrifice), and not telling Cas, even, even though Cas was likely to be understanding - what if it's partially because Dean doesn't feel he deserves to have a happy ending?

I've been uncomfortable about about how the Batcave was too much to give the boys and still expect the series premise to remain stable and the boys to remain stable. Perhaps, being given something that big, the same way Sam retreated into himself and didn't quite take it (room etc), perhaps Dean needed it to be less good in order to be able to - IDK, exist in it?

He always said he wasn't gonna ever get an ending like that - gonna die young and that. And then he accepted it really well, enjoying it all - perhaps that was only while he didn't expect it to last? And as soon as he realized they did live there, and he had Sam, and they had a way in which Sam could perhaps enjoy the life while also not giving up his scholarly tendencies, and Cas was around, and even Kevin and Charlie were there a bit - family(ish) - perhaps that was simply too much - too foreign? And trouble, and having to worry about Sam and the supernatural, and even being horrible guilty - were at least something he knew how to deal with?

Probably, had he lost Sam, it would have been a whole lot like being with Lisa - and he couldn't go through that again... but still, he could have made it less of a problem, I believe.

And an unrelated Wincesty quote from 910 )
citrusjava: (Default)
Huh, now the coast is clear of Linda Tran to be alive after all. And glorious she would be.
citrusjava: (Default)
Name: In their time of
Ship: Dean/Cas, of sorts.
Words: ~1000
Rating: PG?
Warnings: Violence, character death.
Spoilers: 817
Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the owners of Supernatural.
Notes: Been fussing around with this for days. Time to post.
Also, are there any communities it makes sense to post this on? I'd love recs.

Summary: POV of Dean in the teaser.

On, to the fic! )

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