citrusjava: (Default)
I missed this





citrusjava: (Default)
I'm gonna need Jared and Osric to kiss, please.


Preferably both dressed as Sam.

Maybe with Jensen-Dean, and the fake Impala.

But really, I'm gonna need them to kiss, pls.
citrusjava: (Default)
aw yay!
Jared made a world cut poooooost!
Aw yay :)))))))))))
please get excited and happy about things that make you excited and happy, Jared, I will return to rereading and wondering wtf you just wrote - that works :)
citrusjava: (Default)
Just in case you missed <s>him</s>the pics )


ETA:
I'm looking and looking - he still looks tired and kinda beat and it's hard to tell with the smile so I grab the laptop with both hands and look real close at the pictures to get the expression in his eyes and suddenly I understand Dean's method of finding out what's going on with Sammy so much more understandable.
citrusjava: (Default)
 I miss Jared.  A  lot. It isn't completely rational.  But I friggin do, so much.
While we are giving him some space to heal with his family and/or sending him fluffy messeges (I have lost count, and aparantly all shame) let's also make fan art/fic/vids! This a comfort comment meme - but different people find different things comfoting.


(Image by Nagaesa)


In short - fluff, explicit, crack, angst, whatever you like, as long as it's related to Jared, one of his characters, or the concepts of Always  Keep Fighting! ok?

1) Please be kind (ah, the effort it took to end that word with a d)
2) one prompt per comment, leave as many prompts as you like
3) use the prompt subject line to write the main characters or pairings in the prompt, and a few words about a key element in the plot or kink, so that potential writers and artist will be able to find it
4) Please use trigger warnings, and spoiler warnings for anything unaired
5) When filling, please start the subject line with "FILL", to make it easier to find

Pimp!


citrusjava: (Default)
Sweeties, I'm also thinking a lot about Jared (and loving him a lot)
I feel maybe fandom needs a bit of comfort right now, too

Remember - Jared was really brave, and reached out. He half-did it a few days ago, asking anyone on Facebook at that moment to write to him about good things that SPN brought to their lives, and then he did it seriously and directly. That is so brave and trusting, especially involving fandom like this. This is already a very good thing to do to keep safe and get better, finding people who love him and asking for their support. And what's better - he has people, so many people who love him. He has Gen with him, Danneel is helping with the kids, Jensen keeps calling him, and probably others, too. He gets several messages a minute of love and support from fandom, and he said many times in the past that those mean so much for him.

He is clearly going through something rough. I don't know what exactly, but I suppose the season they shot, and the thing that happened to his friend a few months back, are not helpful. I'm guessing he's been holding it
together through finishing shooting. Regardless, it's rough.

But it will get better. And he knows it will get better, and he know that even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment. He knows it isn't his fault and he knows we don't blame him for it, either (or he does if he read anything - which I am certain he has). He knows he is very loved. That won't solve everything, but it helps. Not being isolated, knowing you are loved and having people around you for support, people who take it seriously and also don't blame you or panic, is so important. I wish the support system he has (and should have!) on anyone with MI.



Thanks to his campaign he knows he has a whole lot of support, and he knows more about depression, knows what to expect, knows it will get better. And Gen probably knows that too, he mentioned she was very involved in the campaign.



You guys, I know that the messages and support are meaningful and helpful for him. They are comforting and distracting. He took time off. He is surrounded with people who love him annd who know he needs help. He is taking care of himself like he's been telling all of us to do, and he is also being taken care of by loved ones.


Sweeties, I'm sure he really is moved by everyone's support and that it truly helps. It will get better.
citrusjava: (Default)
Title: No evil thing will
Pairing: Osric/Jared
Rating: gen
Words: 1800
Warning: flawed, unbeta'ed and it shows, this is a 'for fun' fic, gender d ysphoria, mental-emotional issues
Tags for: trans character, non-binary Osric, Jared being a cutie, cosplay, crossplay, crossdressing, friendship is magic, Always Keep fighting
Note: this is for [livejournal.com profile] balder12 , on account of her being wonderful
for her prompt: "Jared/Osric where Osric has talked Jared into doing a cosplay that requires painted nails, and Osric paints them for him"

Summary: Jared's campaign brings up some stuff in Osric that he'd been carefully trying to leave behind




It's not a prank war that gets Jared to do it, not a lost bet or someone from wardrobe getting him drunk again. Not even submission to Osric's superior skills as a warrior

~

When Osric was twelve, he had a hard year. He was becoming a boy, a grown boy, no matter how much he hated it, no matter how much he told his body not to do that. Somehow he'd imagined he'd be able to decide things like whether his face was hairy, or how low his voice would go

It wasn't that he wanted to be a girl, exactly - he wanted to stay the way he was, he wanted to - he didn't want to be a boy.

He hated that his body went through that, put Osric through that, hated it bitter and dark.

It ended with doctors, and therapy he didn't want, and his father crying. It was a bad year.

It was bad enough to send Osric the other way. Training in Wing Tsun and later, Tai Chi, a way to make his body his own again. And a way to get friends again. He hated the smell of his sweat.

He got used to it. Became that guy. Found things he liked about this new self. Mostly, not being- not being there. Not being twelve.
~

Not a lot of people know this about Osric, and definitely Osric never told anyone on the show. They don't have that sort of relationship/ They're work friends, maybe getting drunk friends or barbecue friends. They don't connect the was Jared and Jensen do - nobody does. And if Osric occasionally thinks about Jared's long legs wrapped around Osric's waist – he can always just blame it on Tumblr.

When Jared launches the first video of hiscampaign, Osric looks at it, because he is part of the SPN family, because of the fans.


In seconds it puts him right back at twelve

He stays a bit cracked open for the rest of the day , skips training and just thinks – no, mostly just feels.

When Jared uploads another vid Osric cuts a night out short to go home and watch it alone. He's not sure how he'll find himself reacting to it - but he doesn't want to find out publicly .

~


He has to watch all the videos, and he's not even sure whether it's bad for him or good. He keeps tearing up – it's ridiculous. As if something bad happened. Watches over and over and reminds himself that he's ok. It's ok. He Says it out loud to himself. Nobody needs to know.

~

He watches them enough that h gets used to recognizing the intonations in which Jared says - that fighting is brave, that you are awesome if you go through that. Finds himself using those intonations too.

~

They're filming a scene together for the season ten double episode finale, and Osric spends Jared's coverage listening to the soft, genuine speech patterns he knows from the videos, in Sam's words. Weird that this can be the same man who spent the day placing whoopee cushions on every chair Misha tried to use.

They're waiting for the crew to adjust the lights around the Impala, and Osric just tells him. Careful to do it right, to connect it to the campaign Jared's so passionate about, , 'you know how everybody's got emotional scars from school?' . Just to make sure. Doesn't need to take chances with the star of the show. With the guy who's been telling him to always keep fighting low in his headphones at night. Doesn't want to lose that.

Jared's quiet for a moment, then they're called back. As they go, Jared grabs Osric in a quick, ,huge hug

"Thanks for telling me, buddy".

~

Osric begs out of cosplaying as Misty, and goes as Ash. Just to make sure it's recognizable. After that he is Loki. Then The Doctor (10!), Jareth the Goblin King, and Simba. One of the costume makers suggest he goes as Rarity, and the mane and tail she shows him are fantastic, but he's maybe been overdoing it with gorgeous. He does Wolverine instead, Aragorn. He's not a kid.

~

Jared takes pictures with him in conventions, like always. He doesn't do cosplay himself, but he compliments the outfits, makes bunny ears over Osric's Loki horns
doesn't say anything.

But after a while he starts giving Osric this soft frowny look.

~


Jared is not Sam. Not as controlled about keeping quiet, not as trained at not talking. Jared say Gen helps him be that way . If he feels it needs to be done, he'll call you out.

He grabs a moment with Osric during lunch, between panels. Osric is dressed as Batman, and it's nice. Just not – he could have gone as Sound of Music Maria, or, a designer showed him an Impala dress she'd made for herself and offered to make him one, maybe go with him as Dean, he'd been wanting a TARDIS or Impala dress…. And a fan offered to make him a Human Rarity costume - people should cut it out with the ponies, enough. Maybe he's still a little bit raw about giving up the last Rarity outfit.

"Listen, buddy" Jared says, and he is the only person Osric knows who says 'buddy' without it sounding like he's gonna tell you to move your car or lower your music. Somehow with Jared it just sounds like a friendly hand on your shoulder, like he actually means to remind you he's your buddy. Jared's mouth goes thin and stressed, and Osric's insides freeze . "Look, I - " Jared run s a hand through his hair, pulls off his beanie. "I've been talking a lot lately about how everybody goes through things, and for me, I was lucky, because I had people to talk with, I had friends who were supportive and got me through it" his eyes are lowered and in a moment he'll laugh off the way he's babbling. But not what he is saying. Even Jared's uncomfortable smile is genuine dimples. Jared gathers himself and looks at Osric. "the thing you told me - that's important, you're important. Not gonna tell you what you oughta do, but I'm here for you. I got your back". Osric says nothing. Jared looks like he's gonna let it go, but doesn't. His eyes on Osric are intent, hopeful. "You gotta – you shouldn't just shove that under the rug" he contradicts his promise almost right away. "We can talk, if you want". Jared's voice is gentle, reassuring, then there's something bright and quick in his eyes. "Or, next convention, if you wear something you - want, you can choose what I wear".

~
At first, it's Pinkie Pie. It goes with Osric's Rarity, and Jared would be a Pinkie Pie - bouncy, happy and devoted to his friends, though she's easy going where he can be righteous and he is warm and solid where she can be frazzled.

Jared running through a convention in a long pink wig can be appealing.
But as soon as Osric sees his dress for the first time, he changes his mind.


As Rarity, Osric has long soft lavender hair, big luscious curls thick over his shoulders. He has a matching tail, and soft velvety ears. But the dress, he didn’t expect. It's not a simple costume dress. Not even a cosplay dress, and he's seen some amazing cosplay dresses. It has a touch of a forties feel, tight around his ribs, to show off his long hair, with harmonious understated pleats curving up, and a skirt both precise and luxurious. This dress is loving, thought out couture. Perfect for a fashionista pony. Jared has to be a fashionista with him .

~

Once Jared stops giggling at the idea of being an evil dog-napper, he looks at himself more seriously. His movements become more measured, back straight, neck stretching, hand on his chest. looks majestic in his synthetic white fur coat, flashes of red lining when he moves . The dress underneath, almost a slip, stretches across Jared's body as he changes position, showing off aspects and angles of his beauty, like a sequin catching different angles of light.

He has a long limbed regal grace about him, when he stands still looking hard and sharp, but even as he stumbles around on his heels. Jared in heels. Jensen would need a ladder to catch up. he waves his cigarette holder around and poses raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow, mouth twisted in mock evil smiles as he checks himself out, eyes merciless. Reminds Osric of Jared's relish in playing soulless Sam.

After a moment or two, Jared wriggles out of his gloves. They're pretty, but too restrictive, Osric realizes with some sadness. Still -

"Jared, want me to paint your nails?"

~

Osric's own nails are short and amethyst, with stones in the design of rarity's cutie mark. He couldn't have made them so perfect on his own. His skill will do for a simple coat of nail polish. He gives Jared a assessing look. H e kinda wants to match metallic ancient white to the fur, like pearls, but he doesn't have it. Only has metallic blue

Osric spreads a towel on his lap, t protet his outfit, and takes Jared's hand. It's large, warm and pleasantly rough skinned. "You have the best knuckles".


Jared smiles. "I should be more careful when I punch people in the face? "
"Just make sure they moisturized before you punch them".

Jared's nails are square and thick. There's something so intimate about the way Jared relaxes in Osric's hands, lets hi move Jared's fingers as he likes, trusting.

Jared has gorgeous hands. Osric wants to run his fingers, lips, face against them, feel them cup his face. Wants to lick them and put them in his mouth. To feel the roughness of Jared's skin against his lips, dipping in.
The nail polish spreads nicely, thick and shining in tiny sparks, first layer a bit translucent still. The brush seems so smooth, Osric wants to check what it would feel like against his skin.


Jared takes a look. "It's pretty, like you could see fish down there".

Jared waits, hands spread before him obediently as the color dries, and watches Osric readjust his wig, his makeup.

"You are an amazing person" Jared says suddenly, voice low and warm. " this thing you're doing is amazing". Because Jared lets himself just say things like that. Osric isn't looking. Jared sounds lighter, changes directions with Osric's discomfort. "And you're gorgeous. I know that Cruella would definitely want a coat made out of you".
citrusjava: (Default)
As you probably know, Jared has been wonderful, and campaigning to support people who suffer from depression, anxiety and so forth, and against the stigma around that.

This cause - even the very existence of the campaign -
is making such a huge difference.
It's that specific moment when a cause is new enough that just talking about it from the right perspective can literally change a person's life.

The awesome [livejournal.com profile] stolen_voices organized an amazing campaign within this campaign, where fans can buy shirts for others, who can't, mostly people who experience this sort of struggle every day, to have something wonderful and meaningful to hold on to, something tangible with them, on their body or such. Anyway. If you feel so inclined, and can, do PM her or to here for more information.


Even more than the shirts, discussing this within fandom, showing support of each other within fandom.... is amazing....even just.
OK. On a personal note. This makes me feel like maybe I am not so much of a freak and a burden. It is amazing for me that people find it cool to - you know - keep fighting - value all of that and think it's awesome.
I do :-) :-)
citrusjava: (Default)
- OMG, I got an amazing bunch of caring, interesting, thoughtful comments. You guys... it means so much to me <3

- In mystery/whodoneit AUs, it's always gonna be Tom Welling or Jessica Alba, huh?
"Is it gonna be James Marsters this time? He's really creepy... Nah, no way it's Spike. Everybody loves Spike, not betting on that".

-Youtube started offering me Dean/Cas vids. I need to take a long, hard look at my life.

- Everyone always talks about Jensen's boyband years. But with this haircut, and good boy smile - I give you Jared, the boyband years. Or, as I'd rather think of them - Sam's boy band years.


I shouldn't like this. But I do. Happy people and drag.  )

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