Mar. 3rd, 2017 01:46 pm
citrusjava: (Default)
If you feel like it, Ask me my Top 5 anything, and I will probably say "well maybe not the TOP five but here's some babbling! :)

From [ profile] kalliel
citrusjava: (Default)
I used to love pasta. At least, I believed i did?
I used to love eating spaghetti messily - which I still get - and I loved the tomato sauce from powder (because I didn't know better) and I loved loved loved bits of cheese in it - never mozzarella, but this yellow kiddie cheese. Any bit of cheese was worth it all, it made the dish. And I'd cook the sauce in this small pot myself when I wanted it. My mom had this notion of adding the cheese to the sauce as you cooked it, idek why! But she allowed me to do it on the plate. It was never, or almost never, grated cheese! It was slices of cheese and we had to cut it into pieces with out hands, piece by piece, and place the pieced around the dish on our plate - not even just stick a slice on there or in there and let it melt. The cheese and sauce were PERFECT, I say! PERFECT :) :) :) :)

My mother was not opposed adding mushrooms to this. Which as everything that's wrong with this country. Or something. She once suggested I made sauce out of the two powder bags we had - tomato and mushroom!?! I tell ya. Or I am pretty sure she'd ever added canned sliced mushrooms to that tomato sauce that I loved! What what what what no!

When I was a bit older, I loved mushroom Alfredo. Or spinach, any interesting thing.

I wanted to taste black spaghetti for so long, and the green and red types, but I was a vegetarian, so no black - and the others were not available, or it turned out they tasted just the same as ever?

I found this glorious sauce recipe that was finely chopped fresh tomatoes, a lot a lot of fresh herbs, and iinm plenty of lemon juice and some very fine onion.
Though M claimed it was no longer pasta/spaghetti, truly, because it was not so much a sauce as it was food on its own.

One time, I didn't want the sauce I made, don't remember why, so I just seasoned mine with a ton of cumin, some vegetable oil and salt, and it was so so good. One time, I made pasta, and after I gave my brother half, the rest fell to the floor. My brother wouldn't share with my sister and I, and there weren't even ingredients for the sort I liked left.

Pasta is the stuff that every "normal" place has for vegetarians/vegans instead of something good. It is never ok.


M loved/loves rose' sauce - tomato sauce with a touch of cream.
I spent literally years trying to perfec a sauce that she'd like, to meet her very exacting needs on this ....

A lot of tomato puree, a lot of oregano, some basil.
Start by frying onions - they have to be in big pieces, no puny finely cut onions.
A lot a lot of onions, preferably the golden kind, but since the sauce mostly hides the purple of the others - those can do too.
Add some garlic - preferably the dry, roughly ground type. Never ever powder ever ever! (this last one is a rule of mine in general!)
Add a cup of single cream (pref vegan), or - I've tried this with a few cups of milk and about an hour (?) (more?) reducing it - that worked too, and let it simmer gently for a bit (or just move on)
Add three cups of tomato puree, maybe 2/3 cup of dried oregano, a spoon of dried basil, or if you're out of those, hyssop or other green things will probably do.
Cook for 10-20 minutes (if there is no liquid, add very little water just so it doesn't burn)
Turn off the heat, add another cup or so of tomato puree, a lot of olive or vegetable oil, salt to taste, adjust seasoning (you'll probably want more garlic). Carefully adjust sourness with maybe one spoon of rich brown sugar (or molasses or honey - it has to be something that has its own flavor, not just sweet, or the whole dish goes off balance. Also, this needs to be added the way you'd salt to a chocolate dish - only to balance and bring out the existing flavors, putting too much in will make it a disgusting tomato desert - don't do it!)

Serve on whole grain wheat spaghetti (which has a touch of sweetness itself, and tends to be less soggy )
MUST be served with salt and cucumbers pickled in brine, not vinegar.
Pref with Parmesan or plain gouda style cheese.
Pref with light beer or red wine.


She really loved it, but then it was almost impossible to make it *just right*, there was always *something* :(


Anyway - for my own tastes - I don't like pasta anymore. I am not sure why people enjoy pasta, and must hold backk from just assuming that like me, pasta for them is an excuse for sauce. I love many sorts of sauces. I'd put them of veggies or legume or grains or potatoes or tofu or friggin eat it with a spoon, why why why why stick it on an entire plate of flavorless pointless nullness? Why ? Why? Spaghetti I kinda still get because it is fun to eat, and the Disney thing and childhood memories - but really, wouldn't you prefer just the same stuff without spaghetti in it? All the flavor, without this stuff that at the best times it mostly texture, and at bad times is not even that? Not in a good way that, that is - it gets doughy or melts or gets sticky, or worst, oily, this lunchroom food you know in gonna taste gross and then gonna make you feel gross, and without even feeling pleased and nourished and good and happy!

I have a friend who doesn't like a lot of flavor. She likes pasta but no sauce.

So far we have managed to overcome this and remain friends.

At least we can agree on heart of palm.

Previous/future days )
citrusjava: (Default)
Starrylizard prompted:

If you could offer me one creative suggestion, something new I should try (doesn't need to be fandom related), what would it be?

I've given this a lot of thought, though I should say that I don't know you that deeply, so I may be off. I considered fandoms, tropes, prompts, kinks, social justice stuff and geeky experiments.... BUT - IINM, you did and enjoyed GISHWHES. A somewhat similar activity I can't find evidence you've tried, is NaNoWrimo.

You probably know all about it, but just in case - this takes place during November (though there are other events during other months of the year) - and the goal is writing 50,000 of a story.

I rec it, for the craziness and the camaraderie, for the things you discover about yourself and the things you teach yourself to write while scrambling to do so.

I personally have never managed to finish editing one of the drafts I'd written for this - but I did enjoy, felt a belonging, and had just a wild crazy having fun time. It's an excuse ot write for days, to put it before other things. It is definitely draining, so that is something to take into account when deciding whether or not to do so. And if it takes you in the self flagellation path - then no, don't do that to yourself, that sucks! - but if you can ENJOY IT - YES!
citrusjava: (Default)
Things are quiet again around fandom.... so wanna do this one again, because communication!

Rules are simple:
For each of the next 20 days, you are welcome to ask me to post about something. Something you'd enjoy reading. General, personal, fannish, idk! Question form is appreciated but not at all necessary.

It's ok to ask for weird things, it's ok to claim more than one day.
None of my triggers at all, please.
Can't promise for sure I'd be able to write it, but I might!



Day 3

Jan. 3rd, 2016 07:10 pm
citrusjava: (Default)
In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

onoono ;)

1) Hard to Take Courage
gen, Sad&Dean
A new little fic about Dean playing with his slinky. Not a euphemism.
(ok, mostly)
It's probably pretty typical of my writing style - little moments with meaning, dare I hope?

2) Try to Do it As Beautifully
Supernatual, Sam/Dean, kink
I like this story.... angst, kink, love and comfort of sorts, in 300 words

3) Save You from the Dragons
podfic, by Queenklu, Supernatural, Dean/Sam

I've recorded some podfic, editing was truly tortuous for me, and sadly it really shows in the sound quality (and is part of the reason it was *that* hard, too!) - I;ve recorde longer and more impressive podfic, I've not managed to finish editing some that I loved so so much.... and I've recorded ones with more sex, humor, whatever -
but the softness of this is meaningful for me

Also I like my cover art for it, which no one has seen, pretty much....
I should find it :)

And: Return
(Supernatural gen, with Dean and Sam being whatever they are for each other in the background)

This fic is very deep and very resonant for me.... part of my soul is in it, in there....

where I ramble and share way too much about the meaning of the fic for me, for people who have already read the fic )

Day 2

Jan. 2nd, 2016 10:59 am
citrusjava: (Default)
[hey people! I'm gonna try to do this 15 day challenge - tagging it 'snowflake' so you can unfollow the tag if you'd rather, ok?]

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner

In your own space, create a list of at least three fannish things you'd love to receive, something you've wanted but were afraid to ask for - a fannish wish-list of sorts. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your wish-list if you feel comfortable doing so. Maybe someone will grant a wish. Check out other people's posts. Maybe you will grant a wish. If any wishes are granted, we'd love it if you link them to this post

Oh, wow :)

OK, this one is easy - I adore fanwork inspired by my stories - podfic, art - it's an amazing honor and amazing to get!

There is this illusion that there are plenty of fics like this, but for me, feels like there are so few, and I miss new ones so much. I've been known to tear up with how much I miss them.... It's Dean and Sam fic (gen or ship), in which they like, want and crave each other's company, enjoy it. Better still, if it includes trope like "outside of society and alone in the world, but we've got each other", "love conquers all", "doing it with you makes it good ". Better still if it includes the little or weird details of being on the road (habbits no one thinks about anymore, places you're out of place in new ways, new places, old places, music, food, games, sleeping....) - also I have a thing for the seventies fetishization and John's ghost about it, of the ways John influenced both of them, when it's done new ways....

(sidenote: this isn't what I'm talking about, but I ramble, so - how great would be a story about John's ghost or something coming to hunt with current canon Dean & Sam, an everything's different and nothing's different.... )

SPN writer fic - Eric Kripke writing the show and pining for his own brother, whether he is aware of it or not. Considering his complicated relationship with his own brother (whatever it is).

Day 1

Jan. 1st, 2016 10:09 pm
citrusjava: (Default)

Fandom Snowflake Challenge banner

why you are doing the Fandom Snowflake Challenge? What drew you to it as a participant? What do you hope to accomplish by doing these challenges?

I am a little shy, doing this :)

I love fandom and fandom people a LOT, it’s one of (some of) the important reationships in my life.

I don’t know almost anybody on DreamWidth, and this might be a good place to get to know people. Truth is, I don’t have a fan platform/community where I feel comfortable, so maybe here – and/or maybe I will get to meet some lovely, creative, caring, responsible, awesome new friends here. Maybe!

I like that this challenge seems like a lax, caring, welcoming space :)
It seems like it might be ok here, to be vulnerable, not in the best place, raucous, direct, shy….
citrusjava: (Default)
I am feeling lonely and sad, and the winter holidays coming remind me of how lonely I was last Christmas (it was good to be on my own with my boundaries, but also very alone, and it was one of the coldest winters), and ok - maybe I shouldn't be writing about that now....

Anyway - I'm gonna tray to do the Snowflake Challenge - they did say no deadline, so!

Day 1

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

Return is one of my most important fics for me. A lot of my soul is in it, and for me it is one of my best and most meaningful. I might have though of it as bad or unworthy, but it is almost impossible to do with enthusiastic encouragement like [ profile] kalliel's (THANK YOU, you amazing person, whenever you read this! <3)
Pairing: background Dean/Sam
Rating: gen
Summary: Outsiders would tell you, sometimes tell her at toll booths or rest stops, that she is fat, and hairy, and old. Some people call her things for that. She has many names.

Save You from the Dragons is one of the very first podfics I'd managed to complete editing (because editing is made of torturous hell). I was still so naive, at awe and in love with this show, my show.... I'd recorded some other podfics trying to please my recipient(s) and forcing myself a little bit too far off of where I was comfortable with.
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: pg-13
Summary: During Sam's demon blood detox, he talks.
Warnings: background canon forced withdrawal, written as fluffy

Then there are Celebrate You, Baby and Try to Do it as Beautifully
citrusjava: (Default)
I miss you....

Ask away, or tell me yours, if you feel like it!
The numbers don't show here - if you need them, they do appear here.

What fandom(s) do you read?
If you could request more of a certain type of fic, which would it be?
What is your favorite all-time fic?
Do you ever re-read fics? How about triple-read?
Do you prefer angst or fluff?
Do you prefer long fics or short fics?
Name some incomplete fics that you wish were completed.
Talk about the ships that you read.
Do you read smut?
What’s the most hard-core smut or kinky fic you’ve ever read (be honest)!
Do you read AUs?
List a few of your favorite AUs.
What type of AUs are your favorites? Give a general description.
What makes you give up on reading a fic?
What makes you pick up a fic, what makes it sound interesting?
Name a fic that made you cry (or that made you come close).
Name a fic that made you laugh a lot.
Do you have a fic recommendation page or master list?
How many fics do you think you’ve read before?
What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Describe it.
Do you read crack!fic?
Name a few of your favorite crack!fics.
Has fluff ever made you cry? What about angst?
What’s the longest fic you’ve ever read?
What’s your opinion on reading dubious consent or no consent?
Name a type of fic you’ll never ever read.
Name a type of fic that you wish there was more of.
Who are your favorite fanfiction author(s)?
When you find an author you like, do you follow them?
How often do you read fanfiction?
Do people know that you read fanfiction?
Do you leave reviews after reading fics? If so, what do they sound like?
When you read a good fic, do you go to the author’s page?
Name a common type of fic that you cannot stand.
Name all the Work in Progress fics that you are currently reading.
Has a fic ever left you unable to fall asleep or think about anything else?
Are you good about keeping up when reading Work in Progresses?
Name some of your favorite fic recommendations pages.
Name a fanfiction author that you’re scared to talk to because they’re so amazing.
Have you ever written fanfiction or considered it?
Name a fic that has a perfect ending.
Name a fic that you wish was longer.
Do you read OT3 fics commonly? Have you ever?
Do you mainly read TV shows, movies, or books?
Do you read fanfiction about Anime?
If you could imagine the perfect fic, what would it be like?
If you had to introduce someone to fanfiction with a few fics, which would you suggest?
Have you ever read a fic containing character death?
Do you have an AO3/ page? Link it.
What sites do you typically use to read on?
citrusjava: (Default)
On the December Days challenge, [ profile] glovered wrote: Which of Sam's shirts is your favorite, and why? Option to also list the most horrifying by whatever standard you deem fit. (I JUST LOVE SAMS GREAT/TERRIBLE FASHION SENSE)

I'll admit it, I like Sam's shirts. Been trying to get myself the plaid type ones before the current trend, I like that sort of - I guess masculinity reference. I must admit also, though, that I am really fond of Sam Winchester himself, and had to make an effort to separate his shirts from the cuteness and Sam of the rest of him.

I hadn't noticed The Dog Shirt

till [ profile] kalliel pointed it out - but now I like it! We had some theory going about the shirt surviving for so long because the dog was a real hell-hound and would secretly help save Sam or the boys from monsters, protecting their shirt/home - I don't remember, it was longer.

I'm fond of the v-necks

it was a pity, watching this one go

Sam felt my fanpain too

This is the second Sam shirt I happened to mention here strongly influenced by hell hounds. Perhaps they are the ones doing wardrobe for the show? I mean, who could forget these fashion forward spring cutouts?

Of course, then there is this one...
thank you for this one...

I mean, this one

There was on unexpected excursion into glam rock

a clear Velvet Goldmine reference

Then comes one of my favorite outfits of Sam's

(seriously - it's gorgeous, even just [ profile] badbastion's work with light is just gorgeous - if you haven't, look at it! But not in unfriendly pornless spaces)

Probably my favorite of all of Sam's shirts is his hoodie -it is very Sam, a certain kind of Sam... - probably the one from Jared's audition:

That was one good audition!

There aren't really any I hate...

clearly the crosses are intended to ward off vampires.
+ I want Sam to get dressed in more silly things!
It's not like Jared can't do comedy....
citrusjava: (Default)
On the December Days meme, [ profile] frozen_delight asked: What's your favourite and what's your least favourite Christmas tradition?

My family's and people who were my family's religions and so forth are/were very varied, so I wasn't raised with Christian traditions, very much. M is Christian, so I started celebrating it for her.

I like: the lights! Oh, oh, Man, all the shiny!!! I mean, it's so much glitter! And lights! My drag queen self and just my... little girl self and my... warm wintery-ness wanting selves - ahh!!!!! YES . like that. And that warm fuzzy good will thing people get when they;re toasty and forgiving and more empathic than usual....
We only went tree shopping once, cause we got a reusable folding tree thingy, but all the beauty and beautiful tackiness and... hope ... about it... Man... yeah...
And the... family and hope... ness to it ... all...
Egg nog. I love egg nog, I love that the masses liked my vegan version better than the non-vegan version, I liked making up recipes and experimenting with that and making yummy food. And bragging about it, too ;)

Family, safety...

(for the lyrics)

Things I dislike about it:
Well, since I was the one organizing it for large groups of people - argh. All the budgeting, all the things everyone can't eat, all the work for days cooking, especially since it;'s hard for me, all the stuff like people not showing up at the last minute or saying they won''t come then showing up late with a date I literally don't have a chair for and expecting me to serve them like I work there... all the people participating officially in the Secret Santa thing but not actually getting gifts and me having to (or feeling I had to) get presents for people instead of them, so somehow I end up responsible for a million gifts I can't afford for people I don't even necessarily know, and trying to still be thoughtful and find something specifically for them, and often not really getting anything thoughtful for me, cause thoughtful was 'my responsibility'. Oh - and one year my mother's boyfriend-at-the-time felt it was his place to divide the leftovers between his kids without even asking. He didn't make them, pay for them, he was a guest, he didn't even bring a gift for my mom, I had to get her one in his place cause 'he doesn't feel comfortable with that sort of thing', but my mom insisted they both had to be part of the secret Santa thing. And my mom nitpicking and criticizing the way I arranged things. And people complaining about whatever issues they had with the food: there is plenty of variety, eat something else and shut up. You know - the Christmas spirit!
citrusjava: (Default)
On the Deceber Days meme, [ profile] balder12asked: Favorite and least favorite tropes in fan fic. Plus, what's a trope you've never written, but want to try?

Tropes I love:
Ooooh. So many. Spells gone wrong, or gone wrong for a character, or just happening - are great. It's interesting to read a character facing new situations, new problems and a new existence, identify or identity they resist. Being dropped into a different place in society, rediscovering their relationships through it, or just going through some in-character crack. Creative curses are interesting as well. I find it very interesting, the different ways people write witches or those who curse, their motives, agency and interests, and who they are.

One thing about this trope - for some reason it's almost always Dean. Where is all the great fic about Sam being cursed in interesting ways?

some recs (mostly it's both fic and podfic:
I don't wan Somebody to Love Me by [ profile] lazy_daze- I don't wanna give too much away, it's just great
And You Would be a Fool by [ profile] badbastion- another really good and fun one I don' t wanna spoil
Speechless by [ profile] candle_beck- just fantastically well written
Keep Our Minds on the Sum of Each Other also by LazyDaze - the boundaries between Dean and Sam were never that stable to begin with
And one of the best fics in the fandom, [ profile] balder12's Mystery Dance

Tropes I dislike:
I don't like AU - there's some great AU out there, but I almost always want non-AU more. Probably since so many AU's make things more normative, perhaps... but also just cause I'm interested in "canon" variations... I might read something unrelated, but that's - not related very closely? Not a fan of hooker fic, mostly . And A/B/O I'm frustrate that I don't get. It squicks me some, but more than that - I don't get the appeal, and want to!

Tropes I might want to Write:

Well, all else aside, choosing by trope - being able to write wonderful fluffy happies, or a really good long road trip story, with the music and the food and sights and music again and *relationships* and so forth, or a good - like, a classic Wincest early season fic...
citrusjava: (Default)
Why not!

Prompt me to post about anything you like, on one of the days of December. Personal is fine, SPN, fan culture, IDK, ask for anything you like, worst case, I won't be comfortable with it and ask you to pick another topic. But I'm comfortable writing about a lot of things.
I might be late, but I'll try not to be. Also, please nothing triggery for me.
Claim a day and a topic!

So far claimed:
December 5: [ profile] balder12: Favorite and least favorite tropes in fan fic. Plus, what's a trope you've never written, but want to try?
December 6: [ profile] frozen_delight:What's your favourite and what's your least favourite Christmas tradition?
December </b> 7:[ profile] frozen_delight:What do you love about fandom and being a fan?
December 11: [ profile] glovered: Which of Sam's shirts is your favorite, and why? Option to also list the most horrifying by whatever standard you deem fit. (I JUST LOVE SAMS GREAT/TERRIBLE FASHION SENSE)

ETA: If you're also doing this and feel like it, point me towards your post?
citrusjava: (Default)
Via the wonderful [ profile] balder12 .

I haven't written all that much, but I really like the idea of this meme, so why not :)
(like my memes in general, feel free to change the rules a bit if you want to, no need to ask. Just no triggers and such, please)

Go to my AO3 page or my masterlist (or both, cause I've been bad about updating) and pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, and comment to this post with that selection (title or link to the story being excerpted will be very helpful).

I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the characters' heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track. You can ask me anything - character motivation, writing process, or if you disagree with the direction I took in a story, ask me to defend it.
citrusjava: (Default)
All the cool kids are doing the movie meme. Which is cool - 10 movies that somehow resonate or express who you are, where you are as a person now. But there are such few movies that I feel resonate much about me - I wanna do this with fic! I really hope the authors see this as compliments. What I'm saying is - this really resonated with me, touched me and stayed with me.
This is very far from being a comprehensive list.

Meme text:
Choose 10(ish) fics or other fan creations that resonate with who you are right now, as a person.
Optional: Add a work or two that you created, that do the same.

Credit in the Straight World by [ profile] vaingirlfic, podfic by [ profile] ann_ciudad
Needs Must by [ profile] thatotherperv, podfic by [ profile] dodificus
or Hands in my Hair, podfic by [ profile] anna_unfolding
Into the World Breathes Life , by [ profile] checkthemargins podfic by [ profile] heardtheowl
The Fetters of Fenrir by Leonidaslion
Odysseus, American by [ profile] coyotesuspect, podfic by [ profile] zempasuchil
Little Earthquakes by ProphecyGirl, BtVS
Only Sweeter by [ profile] rivkat, podfic by [ profile] yourrighteye
Fic by [ profile] balder12, particularly when Sam's prominent.
This is All Very Meta by [ profile] road_rhythm, podfic by [ profile] applegeuse
Leader of the Pack by [ profile] astolat
(ahh, so many others more!)

Also gonna choose two by me -
Try to Do it As Beautifully
and When She Talks, I Hear the Revolution, also podfic

ETA: If anyone feels like doing this too - of course, go for it! If you feel like it, leave a link in the comments, I'd like to read it!


citrusjava: (Default)

March 2017

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