http://citrusjava.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] citrusjava.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] citrusjava 2014-09-24 06:36 pm (UTC)

OK, so - in my early(er) days in fandom, I was developing my taste in fic - in this fandom, and also rediscovering the world of fic, and being seriously into a fandom, a ship. And there were things I didn't like in fic, pretty much ever, and decided to just not write (if I was gonna write, which I wasn't):
AU, deathfic, Destiel, perfect gay couple J2 that's less based on their actual characteristics and the author's analysis of it.
And then I just found myself writing all of that :-)

I was working on a lighthearted list of things to never ever do in fic, I don't know what I had there, but it started something like:
1) Never kill Dean
2) NEVER KILL DEAN
3) Never Kill Sam
4) Don't let Dean know not killing Sam is only addressed on the third point

( I'd read this cruel cruel deathfic in which the author played around with the warnings to make it seem like it wasn't going to be a deathfic - cruel ) -
and then I go and break my first rules..

How I got to writing this is -I have a thing against - series' feeling so comfortable killing characters that "aren't the real ones".
There's a Voyager episode in which there's trouble with an alternative universe, and *one of the characters dies*, one of the shows characters dies!!! and they just save the alternative universe character instead, and he's just like him, so who really cares, right? (I might be doing this an injustice here, I should say I watched this very very long ago). But as I recall it - *they killed off one of the main characters*,and nobody cared, really ,cause they got a replacement. So close enough, right? Their best friends slash lover died, but no - there is somebody close enough around.
Anyway.
Don't even get me started on teleporters - they don't teleport. They evaporate a person on one side and create a replica of them on the other side. They die every time they "teleport". WTF.


so the whole "here is a room full of Deans - and they have his emotions, and history and love and everything" (or are they just imaginary ? Does it matter ? DK)- and "hah hah - you thought Cas just killed Dean but he totally didn't ! Dean's fine! And non of those Deans matter at all! "
So, like a lot of my fic (at the time ? ) - I wrote this to make my point.


These Deans matter... like all those fic Deans matter - Dean matters. yeah.



As for it being Dean/Cas - I felt so out of my element writing this without shipping it, IIRC I ended up not sharing it on any Destiel communities - I just felt too ignorant to do that ...

I was watching the episode, so filled with Dean/Cas slashiness, - in past fandoms I often used to just be happy for friends' ships I didn't share, and that was my original approach to D/C, but here for the first time I found myself in a ship war, and it's like if one ship gets subtext it "proves it's real" and the other isn't... Wasn't used to that going on around me ,so the slashiness felt bittersweet at the time ....

ETA: Oh! And another thing!
According to me-of-then,
had SP N been a normal fandom, there would have been a bunch of orgy fics for that scene - perhaps right away.
But (according to now-me) - SPN is perhaps more about relationships and emotions than about lighthearted silly sexytimes? Am I making a wild generalization here ?

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