I agree. It's so far from enough, to begin with ("I'll stand up against violence" or whatever that was is so far from anything), and can stay on such a shallow level. Not to mention, this sounds like such - I'm looking for a nice way to say "privileged feminism". But then, she was so touching, and I appreciated her saying that she wasn't sure why she was the one talking about that.
Actually, there's this thing bugging me abou tthis, that if you feel like it, I'd love your to read what you see about.
I agree that I really don't have the patience to educate guys, be understanding while they take over conversations, mother and encourage them, and be so thankful when they come to get cookies after they've done something supposedly feminist - I've got enough going. I've done that for years. I don't feel they contribute to discussions on feminism in almost any case, I don't get why that's a good or why I should be putting my energy into any of that. I'd rather just play with women, trans* folk, etc. And comments like "we should make this space more friendly for men" make me want to cry or scream or just leave. Though I do agree that men are also oppressed by the way gender goes these days.
But then, I'm kinda - I need the next wave, and I'm not sure how that's going to go (and it's not gonna come from this project, I'm pretty sure). There are so many problems with identity politics that I don't know how to solve, and - I'm hearing a shift (or maybe it's just oin communities around me ?), a lot of the queer and feminist people I talk with leave behind the concepts of safe spaces and allies, and go for a more friendly and more traditionally queer approach. And I feel the need for that return to creativity instead of "being afraid to talk" (which I'm also OK with, people should maybe be afraid to talk when they're so likely to say harmful things), but I doubt this is a step forward, not sure it includes some of the more important elements of taking the social structure into account rather than just returning to classic "equality"... But also, things like - I know that for all I try "to educate myself" I fail in such a big way , and I know it's pretty much impossible not to fail at it, but the constant state of not being good enough can be really harmful, especially since so many activists are not in the best emotional state to begin with... So I really agree with the basic "first of all shut up and try to learn about this", "first of all create a space just for women (or whatever group) without people from empowered groups and lets try to figure out our experience, what we have to say" and so forth, and probably I should just be more committed to the process or something, but I kinda feel the need for the step after the "first of all"?
If you feel like saying, I'd love to read you thoughts, feelings, IDK.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-09-24 05:49 pm (UTC)Actually, there's this thing bugging me abou tthis, that if you feel like it, I'd love your to read what you see about.
I agree that I really don't have the patience to educate guys, be understanding while they take over conversations, mother and encourage them, and be so thankful when they come to get cookies after they've done something supposedly feminist - I've got enough going. I've done that for years. I don't feel they contribute to discussions on feminism in almost any case, I don't get why that's a good or why I should be putting my energy into any of that. I'd rather just play with women, trans* folk, etc. And comments like "we should make this space more friendly for men" make me want to cry or scream or just leave. Though I do agree that men are also oppressed by the way gender goes these days.
But then, I'm kinda - I need the next wave, and I'm not sure how that's going to go (and it's not gonna come from this project, I'm pretty sure). There are so many problems with identity politics that I don't know how to solve, and - I'm hearing a shift (or maybe it's just oin communities around me ?), a lot of the queer and feminist people I talk with leave behind the concepts of safe spaces and allies, and go for a more friendly and more traditionally queer approach. And I feel the need for that return to creativity instead of "being afraid to talk" (which I'm also OK with, people should maybe be afraid to talk when they're so likely to say harmful things), but I doubt this is a step forward, not sure it includes some of the more important elements of taking the social structure into account rather than just returning to classic "equality"... But also, things like - I know that for all I try "to educate myself" I fail in such a big way , and I know it's pretty much impossible not to fail at it, but the constant state of not being good enough can be really harmful, especially since so many activists are not in the best emotional state to begin with... So I really agree with the basic "first of all shut up and try to learn about this", "first of all create a space just for women (or whatever group) without people from empowered groups and lets try to figure out our experience, what we have to say" and so forth, and probably I should just be more committed to the process or something, but I kinda feel the need for the step after the "first of all"?
If you feel like saying, I'd love to read you thoughts, feelings, IDK.