I'm not 'on the scene' so to speak, largely because I'm too introvert and busy
I get that :)
male doms who kind of make the assumption that female dom(me)s are just playing at it because they haven't found a Real Man who can top them yet
UGH! *shudders* That is so infuriating and disrespectful!
Not everyone of course, but like any other subculture, sexism is still around
Yeah, you're right. Geek subcultures, feminist groups being racist and transphobic and so forth - yeah :/ (I, however, am awesome and completely free of all prejudices ;))
I had one male slave (so he called himself) I was briefly considering for domestic service keep texting me 'suggestions' of what I should be doing to him and telling him to do and what names I should be calling him etc. Wishes and negotiation is one thing, but the attitude that speaks of 'if you were a real domme, you'd be doing/behaving/looking like x' gets real old, real fast.
UGH again! What a douche. The whole "you're here for my pleasure" attitude out of play, and definitely the "I'll question your worth to get you to prove it to me" attitude, remind me a lot of "pickup artists" (one of the most noxious brands of guys I don't want to meet). For me, I mostly want out of BDSM things that require a lot of trust and vulnerability, even if just for the duration of one session, but even if all I wanted was something technical without a lot of emotional impact, I wouldn't want to do that with someone who didn't respect or appreciate me. Ugh! I can somewhat relate to that, one of the reasons I stopped Domming was that I felt I was being used. I hear more and more about such experiences from other Dommes, too.
no subject
I get that :)
male doms who kind of make the assumption that female dom(me)s are just playing at it because they haven't found a Real Man who can top them yet
UGH! *shudders*
That is so infuriating and disrespectful!
Not everyone of course, but like any other subculture, sexism is still around
Yeah, you're right. Geek subcultures, feminist groups being racist and transphobic and so forth - yeah :/
(I, however, am awesome and completely free of all prejudices ;))
I had one male slave (so he called himself) I was briefly considering for domestic service keep texting me 'suggestions' of what I should be doing to him and telling him to do and what names I should be calling him etc. Wishes and negotiation is one thing, but the attitude that speaks of 'if you were a real domme, you'd be doing/behaving/looking like x' gets real old, real fast.
UGH again! What a douche. The whole "you're here for my pleasure" attitude out of play, and definitely the "I'll question your worth to get you to prove it to me" attitude, remind me a lot of "pickup artists" (one of the most noxious brands of guys I don't want to meet). For me, I mostly want out of BDSM things that require a lot of trust and vulnerability, even if just for the duration of one session, but even if all I wanted was something technical without a lot of emotional impact, I wouldn't want to do that with someone who didn't respect or appreciate me. Ugh! I can somewhat relate to that, one of the reasons I stopped Domming was that I felt I was being used. I hear more and more about such experiences from other Dommes, too.