countdown to season 10 - season 5

[citrusjava]

Season 5

Swan Song
I probably can't express how much Swan Song touches me.
There is nothing like it.
It made me cry time and again, just looking at the transcript for a second to check for what exactly they said, that sort of thing.

I can't express it.

Bobby and Dean
First time around, I didn't get how far gone Dean had gotten.
Didn't really follow how desperate and hopeless...
A few days ago I rewatched a few of the later episodes. Rewatching still keeps giving me new things, perspectives, concepts.

In one of the earlier episodes of season 5, Bobby is willing to bet his life away to bet to regain some worth . This sort of devaluation of himself - I hadn't realized it - I thought of it as a plot device, and not as something Bobby was going through. And giving up his soul for a while to Crowley... When Dean was going to say yes, Bobby told him that Bobby wanted to shoot himself every single day, and every day didn't, because he'd promised Dean. They influence each other and echpo each other in such a deep way ...

Dean
But Dean. Honestly, I so get how come he was going to say yes. It kinda amazes me that he didn't, earlier - just out of stubbornness, insisting on resisting coercion, being contrary cause he's Dean - I don't know how he made it that far, I don't.

Dean and Sam
And Sam... Hearing from Dean that Dean didn't believe in him, and believing in Dean anyway, and saving the world cause he did, and saving Dean and OMG I'm crying just writing this, I'm so gone for this show. One of Sam's many shining moments that don't get enough attention. And Dean actually acknowledging it... OMG. Boys. After all the bad stuff that's happened between them in seasons 4-5, all the trust issues, being able to trust each other and lean on each other ...

OK

Oh - The Amulet

I still hope they do put it into some episode, ever.
Maybe in a shark -jumping sort of way.
My boy Robbie wants it back....
I'll probably be wary about it, and not consider it exactly canon, if they do - unless it's unexpectedly amazing - but I'd still like them to do it.

Comments

[citrusjava.livejournal.com]

Swan Song -
Yeah...
I agree that in didn't have an amazing buildup like season 3, but. But. But .
And then AHBL also has that *amazing * scene and Dean's decision - I never watched it unspoiled, but that sounds huge - and the boy's conversation in the end, and John's moment ...

Bobby -
I very much agree with that characterization, and yeah, the first time around (and all times around till now, though there haven’t been that many) I'd probably consider it more of a disability cliché – of course if you're disabled you feel worthless, of course of you're gay in an '80's movie you want to die/achieve that goal.

But OTOH - regardless of how things *should* be portrayed, and in a big way because of the way they are - I know from myself that it can be very humbling not to be able to do things that "anybody could do". I know, for me, the day I got that I can't even make tea - was a bad one. Always having to calculate how much to try to hide it, how much to admit (and lose 'human' status) - how much to ask for help, how much to be willing to accept help…

And for Bobby – I'm sure he hides most of what he can't do (even – doesn't his house have several floors? And do you see Bobby installing those lift thingies and using them comfortably in front of people?)
He can't do his job, the actual money paying job. All his hunter friends and ll his work acquaintances , all the people who consider him this manly man, all the people who consider him a person, are just not around. And he has to go through this loss, the adjustment and so on alone.


I bet he really needs help, and hates himself for that, cause he'd like to be contributing to the fight, rather than wishing he would allow himself to pull anyone away from it and get help - even just someone to talk with. And he's probably hurting over being abandoned like that – and also hating himself for feeling that when other people were dealing with 'real' problems, 'end of the world' problems.




Bobby is always helping other people. That is part of his identity IMO. So no only not being able to do those things, but also wanting/needing help - would probably, or possibly, make him feel pretty useless. And with the daily, much more than daily - getting phone calls from people who want stuff for cars, from hunter asking if he could do whatever small help they need cause they're 10 hours away – even things like making them an anti-possession amulet, which he might not be able to do anymore. Bobby is a pretty hands on, private, doing things himself kind of guy. He'd probably not want to let civilians in (especially since they could always be monsters).




And he probably feels incredibly exposed, even if he's able to get to his panic room. For all he'd say he didn't care, demons and angels can easily break his wards and come in, and he might not be able to repaint things like the ceiling (or ask any neighbors or volunteers or paid help to do it for him, even), and even less able than usual to protect himself. In a situation like that, I might tell myself that it's not like I can protect myself normally, or tell myself to get over it – everybody's in a fight, the world is ending, and if you die – you die. You know, quit being a baby about that. None of those things contributes to feeling worthwhile.

[balder12.livejournal.com]

Good points on Bobby. You know, I never thought about his real job. How does Bobby get by if he can't run the salvage yard anymore? Although the importance of money has always been incredibly variable on this show: sometimes the Winchesters have to sleep in their car because they're broke, and sometimes they can just buy last minute tickets to Scotland with no problem.

[citrusjava.livejournal.com]

For me, it has a lot to do with them being criminals. I've seen quite a few fics where Dean has an emergency credit card saved up, or they had acquaintances they could call for an emergency favor - perhaps that's th case.
More likely, though, it's another one of the show's fantasy elements, that they're appealingly poor, but it's only a problem if it's a plot thing (fantasy as in 'sweet' not as in 'dragons') - another thing it has in common with Gilmore Girls.
Bobby, though, probably has some savings, or at least some things he could sell.