Wincest / established relationship writing rant (is this a rant?)

ETA: I got a comment about this coming across as if I'm angry, so I should clarify - I'm not angry at all, this is just a thing that bothers me, and I was hoping people would find it an interesting topic to discuss. If not, go ahead and ignore.

OK.
(background first)
So, I agree that, for instance, including one gay character on a show, to be "the gay character" kinda sucks. I was so excited when I first found a book about two male police detectives working on a case. A story about something besides them coming out or going to pride or hating themselves, that sort of thing.

But even for detectives in a story about detective work, being gay would paint the way they interact with the world and perceive themselves in it, would paint the things that draw their attention or annoy them, something. I hate the whole "we are exactly like straight people" narrative. Life experiences paint who you are. Identity paints who you are.

So I very much doubt that even if the Winchesters were in an established relationship, the "incest thing" would just fade into the background completely. It IS part of their lives, their history, it matters that they're brothers because it's an important part of their history and relationship, and it matters that they are brothers because even if they are completely over it, they have to live in a world that is not, and that MATTERS! I really need more stories that don't disregard or erase that. There is room for fluffy comforty stories, and I get that not all writers want to focus on that, but it really bothers me that it's become a norm to disregarded it completely.

( ETA: Even if it's established relationship, as a reader, I still need to be convinced it's awesome. )