citrusjava

So, some
(white, cis, normative)
gay
rights site snagged a piece of Wincest fanart, unaware, for one of their banners.

IDK whether to inform the artist (PotatoCrisp), or bitch about people finding it funny, or laugh.

ok, so you know how Jared felt badly through filming the end of the trials

- with what is going on now -

there should be J2 fic - or best, J&J gen - where Jared needs to process the last season and filming the next season is so far away, and Jensen does the whole - shirt campaign and stuff - to cheer him up, but it doesn't work, cause the Sam part of Jared was still in such a bad place - so Jensen role plays Dean and Sam with him, to help him process that season and that scene.

Miss you already, show -
have a fun fun fun wonderful break, and may there be plenty of wonderful fandom, and you come back awesome and soon !

(I really miss Jared, you guys :( )

They're back.... the boys, caring about each other, in the Impala. And the rest -is just the rest!

[this isn't even exactly speculations]
"Remember, self, don't go on LJ or Tumblr before watching the finale! Even with all your spoiler warnings and filters, someone's gonna ruin it!" --> sad for rl reasons --> goes on LJ and Tumblr --> no spoilers --> "Nobody spoiled anything?! How boring an episode was that?!"

I've been trying to do the thing and tell people about my problems, inabilities and fears, for all they feel like horrifying sins, for all \i have trouble expressing them and sometimes people don't understand or say things that break me down even more, or blame me, or use my vulnerability against me, for all it's sometimes legit dangerous for me. More than that, though, some people have been truly - friends, caring, understanding, or just there for me. Even just saying small things like - that it's not my fault, or making me laugh, or sending me a hug, or saying that I'm not just imagining things or that I'm not just making a huge deal out of something silly, or that it is ok to get angry, or that it is ok to be unable. Some of you have been those people, are those people, and even some of the first people to be there for my first steps of trying to share, and have been so incredibly meaningful for me in that (and other things, too 3) -
of course I have a long long way still to go, but fuck, that has made and still makes a huge difference in my life. Thank you. You know, even just that it is ok to ask for help or to be supported by anyone, that that is not a sin, not a horrible thing to do to them in essence (of course saying no is an important option).

There has been a lot of talk lately about support - and you are being so wonderful for me, and you make a huge difference.
You

When this is over, we should have a little talk about what Jensen in fact said when he 'thanked fans for their support of Jared at this time'

Oh, nm now, look, cute belly

A while back I started writing a story about Gen taking the kids and driving off - as it turned out, to hunt a wendigo -
and writing her made me love her all that more
(which btw, if you feel like sending some comfort and love her way, might be good, this can't be easy for her, and she just keeps getting so many 'take care of Jared' messages)

but anyway - for me, writing someone, or even just some kink - will often make me feel that is is 'mine' somehow - under my protection, such as it is, something I care about at least a bit.

So some time back I filled this prompt about Dean delighting in eating things you shouldn't eat.
I put a lot of love into writing that and coming up with ideas for it, though I probably missed the mark kinkwise, cause I don't exactly understand (I'd like to) -
(and I know there could be more emotional depth to it)

but I did care a lot about it,

so when I came across this, I got excited:

(also, it is just cool. And makes me worried. Don't try this unsafely please....)

Came across something like this on Tumblr:

"Don't worry! Sam will be ok! Cas is there with him
and Cas will use his grace and do everything he can
to ease up the double penetration!"

So it was not a spoiler for the finale after all

or

I hope I'm wrong

Wrote this not-fic yesterday for sad people on Tumblr. It's seriously just fluffy fluff and barely that. Might be comforting, though.

Just letting you know, that the real Sam, Cas, Benny and Dean are now napping in a pile of fluffy pillows, all curled up around each other. They've been watching the show and Cas read about Jared and everything on Tumblr (cause Tumblr is cross-dimensional), and they got worried and sad

So they made a bunch of comfort food and watched My Little Pony and Dean's fingers just touched Sam just to make sure, and Sam's head was in Benny's lap and his fingers digging into Dean's abdomen, and Benny was petting Sam’s hair and Sam was not thinking how comfortable that certain part of Benny was, and how comforting his touch was,

and Cas wrapped himself around Dean, unaware he was holding the place where Dean’s mark wasn’t, holding it almost tight enough for Dean to b uncomfortable, but Dean didn’t complain cause he sorta needed to feel that too.

And Cas was fascinated by the show, “I too used to wonder what friendship could be before I met you, Dean”, and Sam snorted and Benny kissed Cas’ forehead and then the food was ready, so they brought in all in front of the TV and cuddled even closer together.

And Sam was falling asleep, Dean squeezed his arm and said - you know I don’t - I would never - I’m sorry, Sam - and Sam hugged him and told him not to be stupid, that wasn’t at all them! - but something unknotted in his chest, in his throat

So for those who don't know, M and I are living together again, on the condition that I have my own space, with a door, that she never enters.

I haven't been able to use that space lately, was feeling too badly and there isn't usable furniture there (M was in charge or taking care of that before she moved back in, and didn't on time, and after I needed her AWAY from that space, and decided to take the time cause I just could not handle that. There was also a bunch of garbage there that I was gearing up to throw out, but it was taking very long, mostly because whenever I gathered some energy, I mostly had to use it on dealing with M.

So today I left the house for a few hours , and came back to find a lot of the trash that had been in the room outside in the garbage can. And I was just wishing she hadn't, that there was some sort of explanation - but no. It turns out she went into my space, and decided what needed to be thrown out, and threw it out. I feel so violated and so - just - sad.

She explained that she believed it was consensual, cause a long time ago I told her I wasn't able to do it myself. Two days ago she dropped something in my stuff and I explained (again) that her even looking at it makes me nervous, and I gave up doing my stuff to find that thing for her just so she doesn't go through my things at all. She has ALWAYS made up dumb excuse to tell herself that things I clarified beyond clarification were off limits, were not.

I can't believe she did that.

I can't believe this is my life.

Current Mood: sad

Today is the last day to sign up for

remixers_lounge's er, remix thing, and I am so tempted to join.
Not so sure it's a good idea, cause - it's multifandom, so probably less people who do Wincest, and less of a chance for a good match, cause some fics of mine I wouldn't like to be remixed (only one can be made off limits), cause I'm not sure I'd be able to write something good. and I don't have the energy to do many revisions, and cause in all the fandom exchanges I participated in but one, the author ignored my trigger warnings and gave me gifts that directly harmed me , why.

But otoh, there are some fics I wouldn't mind or even want to be remixed, and I am just curious what would happen

So the way that makes most sense to kill Crowley is for Dean to do it - and that would work, because it wold put in motion both Rowena maybe working to remove the mark (the 'personally' thing sounded interesting) and the prediction of Dean killing everyone he loves.

My money's on them handwaving (heh heh) away the concept of the mark still influencing the person even if removed. I doubt my speculation about Metatron using the tablet to control Dean will happen at this point, though maybe. H emight become ruler of hell if he can't become ruler of heaven.
Would be kinda cool if Rowena wanted the mark, but that'd just give them another redhead demon bad gal.
I suspect she'll want something handwavy, and that we might still get some Olivette - maybe.

I doubt we'll get another serious "will Dean kill Cas". Also, I'm kinda uncomfortable with Cas being the Winchester killed for the finale - it's a territorial thing!

I have horrific ideas of Sam taking it on and killing himself/becoming king of hell

♥ LOVE MEME ♥

full meme | my thread

This is such an adorable idea, much needed and just fitting

Sweeties, I'm also thinking a lot about Jared (and loving him a lot)
I feel maybe fandom needs a bit of comfort right now, too

Remember - Jared was really brave, and reached out. He half-did it a few days ago, asking anyone on Facebook at that moment to write to him about good things that SPN brought to their lives, and then he did it seriously and directly. That is so brave and trusting, especially involving fandom like this. This is already a very good thing to do to keep safe and get better, finding people who love him and asking for their support. And what's better - he has people, so many people who love him. He has Gen with him, Danneel is helping with the kids, Jensen keeps calling him, and probably others, too. He gets several messages a minute of love and support from fandom, and he said many times in the past that those mean so much for him.

He is clearly going through something rough. I don't know what exactly, but I suppose the season they shot, and the thing that happened to his friend a few months back, are not helpful. I'm guessing he's been holding it
together through finishing shooting. Regardless, it's rough.

But it will get better. And he knows it will get better, and he know that even if it doesn't feel that way at the moment. He knows it isn't his fault and he knows we don't blame him for it, either (or he does if he read anything - which I am certain he has). He knows he is very loved. That won't solve everything, but it helps. Not being isolated, knowing you are loved and having people around you for support, people who take it seriously and also don't blame you or panic, is so important. I wish the support system he has (and should have!) on anyone with MI.

Thanks to his campaign he knows he has a whole lot of support, and he knows more about depression, knows what to expect, knows it will get better. And Gen probably knows that too, he mentioned she was very involved in the campaign.

You guys, I know that the messages and support are meaningful and helpful for him. They are comforting and distracting. He took time off. He is surrounded with people who love him annd who know he needs help. He is taking care of himself like he's been telling all of us to do, and he is also being taken care of by loved ones.

Sweeties, I'm sure he really is moved by everyone's support and that it truly helps. It will get better.

Current Mood: caring

ETA: this is the one true thing that I have about this episode:
This was so so violent and horrifyingly graphic -
did somebody tell Carver he was getting soft, or asked if he'd seen a boob in the wild?
Did somebody pry his eyelids open and make him watch GoT to cure him of his bad writing urges?
Did he experience a moment of true happiness, triggering an ancient curse?
WTF happened?!

I probably need about a month, now, of watching My Little Pony 3-4 hours a day, omg

Also -Couldn't they just please get rid of the bunker already? SO CLOSE!

ETA:

-Like a fish that wants to fly or a dog that thinks it's people!
-Sam likes dogs.

ETA: Seriously - this is as violent and cruel as the show has ever been, even just that whole scene of Charlie's body graphically burning - WTF?! Why?!

__

(If you comment, no future spoilers, please! Not predictions or emotions about the finale, just no spoilers, please please)

Pairing: Sam/Dean
Words: 429
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: the vaguest, set in mid season 10

Summary: It's easy not to notice the things that dropped out of their lives.

( they were never, in fact, homeless )

Pairing: Dean Winchester/Tony Stark
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: mention of burns, scars, and an accident
Notes: This is no masterpiece, but it was a weirdenough prompt for me to want to share

Summary: For the prompt - when Dean was at Sonny's home for boys, he met teen Tony Stark

( Read more... )

Can anybody rec a fic exchange or prompt meme or such going on these days, that is easy going and could appreciate some short, half-assed fills? I can use a distraction, but have nowhere near enough energy to be writing stuff that has to be complex or - beta'ed. Surely someone out there wants some quick, unrefined fluff or such.

I would so love to do a gen thing, but as my best I find the

spn_summergen rule list terrifying - participants, you are awesome, brave and awesome again.

Which reminds me - my least favorite fill for

spn_masquerade is now my second or third most popular fic on AO3. FANDOM.

New guy is probably my second favorite writer on the show, by now! Go new guy!

1) Can we talk about the way, again and again, Rowena is treated disturbingly cruelly, in ways that do speak of gender power hierarchy? For all she is evil. Leaving a woman tied up indefinitely is not the same as doing that to man. Manipulative mothers are often trying to survive rather than plot their son's demise. It's interesting particularly since the writers seem to want to comment of feminism from time to time (see this ep's Betty Friedan). They seem to realize that their audience might be interested in that, at the very least. And "strong women = feminist" seems to be the go-to characterization for women or girl characters we should like, but won't really get much of a role. I wonder what they are trying to do with Rowena, in that regard, if.
Also, should mention that this is the writer who wrote the Alex-Jody episode ~~that everybody but me loved~~, which had a lot of women, anyway.

(a) Actually, can we talk about how in Show World the way to get out of an unwanted halusination is either to kill part of oneself or to be groped by one's brother?

2) Twice now Dean has been honest and responsible and confided in Sam when he should have. I like that. I'd have liked for him to also talk with Sam about considering killing himself and knowing that was not an option, but I get why he didn't, and for Sam's fragile heart/stability, that might be a blessing. Then again, surely he knows.

3) I'll just sum it up with Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!1111

4)careful, gentle, fragile, long missed brotherly feels

ETA: interesting - the scene cutting between Dean interviewing Suzie and Sam breaking in is written to be scary, creepy, but that is played down through music and lighting, perhaps.

Wait - if Rowena is part of Sam and Rowena says tying Dean up might be fun -

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citrusjava

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